We only know what we know, but once we know better we MUST do better. This was one of the first things I learned as a potential/prospective adoptive parent.

And honestly? There’s no shortage of resources & spaces to learn and know more. If you’re in the adoption or foster parent space, it is a responsibility & duty to keep listening and learning.

I wasn’t prepared for the grief or guilt as an adoptive parent.

I mean, I KNEW adoption was born out of loss, tragedy, grief. I didn’t realize the grief would rock my world and be carried with me for the rest of my life, too.

But of course it does.

Inherently, I naturally shouldered my child’s inexplicable loss. It isn’t our loss, but becomes ours as we *hopefully* help him bear this burden. This sounds saviorism; it isn’t: it’s duty, it’s responsibility.

“I’m not your brother,” the words quietly (and what felt randomly) fell out of Sage’s mouth like a freight train crushing my heart. If that’s how his words felt to me, I can only imagine what it may feel like to carry this within him.

“Yes you are Sage! Don’t say that, that’s not true words.” Ira quickly retorted.