Listening to voices in the triad that don’t sound like yours
We only know what we know, but once we know better we MUST do better. This was one of the first things I learned as a potential/prospective adoptive parent.
And honestly? There’s no shortage of resources & spaces to learn and know more. If you’re in the adoption or foster parent space, it is a responsibility & duty to keep listening and learning.
In regards to transracial adoption, us white parents MUST do our non-white/Black/brown kids justice by learning & knowing about: micro aggressions, macro aggressions, bias, white privilege, the ways white supremacy subtly sneaks into our homes (it’s there! It’s everywhere) and is overtly a part of our systems everywhere, racism & discrimination. Education injustice. Medical injustices. The list goes on and there is not a shortage of areas to learn and know more, so we can do better.
I think adoption *can be* beautiful.
It’s born out of immense loss + tragedy, brokenness and not-meant-to-be-ness. In order for any beauty to come from ashes...something has to BURN. My friend Ashley from @bigtoughgirl said “In order for a family to be made {thru adoption} a family must break.” So how in the world can adoption be beautiful?
I believe our role in helping make adoption beautiful is by setting down all the ways we want to be right, set down our rights so to speak, and take up a parental posture of humility + support.
We listen, we learn, we know, and then we do better than what has been done by us {and adoptive parents at large} since the birth of adoption.
Listen & learn from voices in the triad that don’t sound like yours, who come from different backgrounds than yours, who push against what feels comfortable to you.
Podcast:
@adopteeson
Books:
In Their Voices @rhondaroorda
Inside Transracial Adoption
The Connected Child
No Sugar Coating by @jillanagoble
The Primal Wound
Accounts:
@adopteeoutloud
@adopteelilly
@angieadoptee
@bigtoughgirl
@itsmenicolemarie
@_heytra
Who + what else can we add to the list?
