BLOG — Natalie Kristeen

The importance of reading to toddlers is insurmountable:

Picture books are some of the very first visuals children get of our world in all of its diversity and beauty and variations. Books are filled with information, seeping into their subconsciousness as reality. We choose our books with intention. Reading with intentionality, seeing what the message in your kids' book is, will help shape our future generation.

So we make reading a priority.

Here are our favorite toddler books.

Jun 27
Jun 27 Your Kids of Color Need Racial Mirrors & also... Avoid The Frizz [part three]

If you haven't read parts one and two, please do so here: Black Culture + Hair Care Go Hand in Hand [part one] and Your Black Child's Barber Should Be Black [part two].

This is the third part to a three part series on skin and hair care + maintaining black culture for your children of color. This series is intended for white parents raising black kids.

Since I'm white and am not someone who should be sharing on these topics, I've invited Helen to share with us. I'm so grateful for her.

For adoptive & foster parents, we cannot recommend enough the Not Just Hair facebook group.

Jun 25

Jun 25 Your Black Child's Barber Should Be Black [part two]

If you haven't read part one, please do so here: Black Culture + Hair Care are Absolutely Necessary.

This is part two to a three part series with Helen. This series is meant for white parents raising black kids.

Skin and hair care has become increasingly important to our family. Not only because our son's skin and hair need extra care, but because it is and will be a major part of his identity as a [biracial] black man.

Jun 23

Jun 23 Black Culture + Hair Care Go Hand in Hand: Raising Kids of Color [interview]

"The way a child’s hair looks is correlated with the overall care that child receives from her mom or parents.

A big part of self confidence among our black children comes from their hair."

As a white mom raising a kid of color, good hair care is a new world for me.

I have thin, greasy, flat straight hair. If I'm lucky, it might wave at you for twenty seconds.

Our son's hair has changed and transformed over time. With each new phase of his hair, we have reached out and asked other mamas what they recommend we do to properly care for him. I never want to think I know it all; especially when it comes to living the black experience: I know nothing.

It’s easy for me to run to my white mom friends who have been caring for their kids of colors a few more years than me. But I am doing my best to slow down, humble myself, and reach out to my mom-friends of color.

Jun 20

Jun 20 How To Go From Fearing To Celebrating Open Adoption

Many [adoptive] families and couples decide early on they want a closed adoption.

If you fall into this category, you must answer this question: WHY?

It is almost always stemmed out of a level of fear and/or jealousy.

Every adoption and situation is different. There is no manual. We are all human.

Jun 10

Jun 10 Your Hard And My Hard Are Both Absolutely Hard

We like to do that, though. We like to compare and quantify.

When tragedies happen, we ask for specifics so we can gauge the tragedy of it: How many people were killed? How far along were you when you miscarried? How many foster homes has she bounced between? But was it physical abuse or emotional abuse?

But tragedy isn't to be gauged, tragedy is to be grieved. No matter the loss, trauma, tragedy, or brokenness, it is to be grieved and offered its space.

It is in the invisible and hidden spaces of grief I find Him. It is in the hard and pain-filled moments I experience His tender love for me.

Jun 7

Jun 7 She Knew She Couldn't, So God Did [Interview with Lara Casey]

Author Interviews

"I look back on our season of miscarriage and see how much He refined in me in the fire. He grew a community around us, a lot of it was grown through grief, and we needed that community while in adoption process. It is easy to say 'He is not with me' when in the thick of it. But blessed are those who mourn, we will meet Him there."

Jun 4
Jun 4 Ira's First Birthday Celebration

Sweetest little Ira-

We have shared so many tears in the last year, you and me.

From the beginning of your existence, you invited me to live one day at a time. I learned the art of celebrating each moment I had with you, of finding immense grace in the unknown, in being forced to live moment by moment.

Your existence demanded me to my knees, hands wide open, yearning for miracles. You are a miracle, a rainbow.

---> Ira's first birthday theme was Dr. Seuss. There are OF COURSE pictures from his party + cake smash :)

Jun 3
Jun 3 June 2: Waking Up Brought No Relief [HomeBirth Cesarean]

When I began posting our birth story, I only planned to share the four parts already shared. I received countless emails and messages asking for more, wondering what happened when I woke up.

Here is the next excerpt from my book. If you want to read more, know more, and travel the road of grief crashing into joy with me, you're just going to have to buy my book which comes out this fall. Sign up for my bi-monthly newsletter to know when preorders begin - upon doing so, you will download my two ebooks and many other goodies.

One more note: the heaviest group of mamas weighing on my heart this week is mamas who have been forced to grieve the loss of their birth experience and their babies. I remember after our miscarriage, a mama told me her birth trauma story and I wanted to punch her. I went to my cabin and sobbed. How could she complain and be sad about a birth of a living baby? I wondered, angrily. And here I am.

I reached out to a dear friend who lost her son at birth. I told her she had all the permission to be angry with me. She was gracious and said this birth story has given her "comfort in knowing I am not alone in grieving my own birth story. I hate that you have the trauma, but am so thankful for women like you who share their stories to let women like me know that 'hey, we are not alone after all.' I'm glad you've shared your story."

Jun 2

Jun 2 June 2: I Hate That I Missed Your Birth [Home Birth Cesarean]

This is part four to a four part series. These four parts are excerpts from my book being published this fall. My book is about varying forms of loss + giving them space.

Our birth experience is one of my greatest losses and I am learning how to give it space in my life. It is sacred, it is vulnerable, it is hidden. I experience triggers and PTSD. It isn't fun, but I am not going to pretend it is something it isn't: I'm not going to pretend like I am okay with how our birth unfolded.

Until today, this story has been kept quiet and hidden; it's raw. It has been one year since the arrival of my seconborn son. My book is overflowing with vulnerable stories and raw emotion...so I figured sharing this raw story would continue to prepare me for the launch of my book.

I write + share to give myself a voice, but also to give others a voice. Loss has a way of making us lonely; I hope to create spaces for connection and community. You are not alone.

Jun 2

Jun 2 June 2: Unexpected Twists in Our Birth [Trauma] Story

This is part three to a four part series. Read part one here.

These three parts are excerpts from my book being published this fall. My book is about varying forms of loss + giving them space.

Our birth experience is one of my greatest losses and I am learning how to give it space in my life. It is sacred, it is vulnerable, it is hidden. I experience triggers and PTSD. It isn't fun, but I am not going to pretend it is something it isn't: I'm not going to pretend like I am okay with how our birth unfolded.

Until today, this story has been kept quiet and hidden; it's raw. It has been one year since our son's birthday. My book is overflowing with vulnerable stories and raw emotion...so I figured sharing this raw story would continue to prepare me for the launch of my book.

Jun 1

Jun 1 June 1: The Never Ending Labor [A Labor Story]

This is part two to a three part series. Read part one here.

These three parts are excerpts from my book being published this fall. My book is about varying forms of loss + giving them space.

Our birth experience is one of my greatest losses and I am learning how to give it space in my life. It is sacred, it is vulnerable, it is hidden. I experience triggers and PTSD. It isn't fun, but I am not going to pretend it is something it isn't: I'm not going to pretend like I am okay with how our birth unfolded.

Until today, this story has been kept quiet and hidden; it's raw. It has been one year since the onset of our labor and we are approaching our son's one year birthday. My book is overflowing with vulnerable stories and raw emotion...so I figured sharing this raw story would continue to prepare me for the launch of my book.

I write + share to give myself a voice, but also to give others a voice. Loss has a way of making us lonely; I hope to create spaces for connection and community. You are not alone.

May 31

May 31 May 31: Ready to Conquer Labor [The Onset Of Labor]

This is part one to a four part series. These three parts are excerpts from my book being published this fall. My book is about varying forms of loss + giving them space.

Our birth experience is one of my greatest losses and I am learning how to give it space in my life. It is sacred, it is vulnerable, it is hidden. I experience triggers and PTSD. It isn't fun, but I am not going to pretend it is something it isn't: I'm not going to pretend like I am okay with how our birth unfolded.

Until today, this story has been kept quiet and hidden; it's raw. It has been one year since the onset of our labor and we are approaching our son's one year birthday. My book is overflowing with vulnerable stories and raw emotion...so I figured sharing this raw story would continue to prepare me for the launch of my book.

I write + share to give myself a voice, but also to give others a voice. Loss has a way of making us lonely; I hope to create spaces for connection and community. You are not alone.

May 19

May 19 GIVEAWAY + Interview with best selling author, Jillian Lauren

Author Interviews

Everything You Ever Wanted is Jillian Lauren's memoir about her journey to motherhood. Jillian was a college drop out, a drug addict, and an international concubine (TRUE STORY) in the Prince of Brunei's harem. She wrote about this in Some Girls.

She and her husband adopted an Ethiopian child with special needs; she writes about the journey to him and working hard to make him (and everyone around him) feel safe in the world.

Jillian is now mama to two children, both high needs. Her life is filled with doctors and therapy appointments - it's a good day when she only has the f-word thrown at her five times.

May 13

May 13 To My Son's Birth Mom on Birth Mother's Day

Adoption, Mama Bear

Dear Mama,

You mothered my son before I knew of his existence, you chose life for him before I had the choice to, he carries parts of you no one can take away, and he is yours in a way he will never be mine.

So today we celebrate you, but tomorrow we will too.

May 11

May 11 Motherhood To Me: More Of A Gift Than Not [Mommy & Me Session]

I'm tired. Sometimes my brain falls out of my head; maybe it doesn't actually, hard to say. Often I find myself far too impatient. I kind of wish I slept more [this is complicated at best]. There are so many poopy diapers and poopsplosions....the other day Ira was rubbing my face so sweetly and I looked to see poop all over his hands. You know? It's not completely glamorous.

But dang is motherhood more of a gift than not.

May 9

May 9 Approaching Mother's Day with a Full + Fractured Heart

My heart is both full and fractured this Mother's Day week.
Fractured and torn more for others than myself,
at this point.

[A poem as we approach Mother's Day]

May 7

May 7 Meeting My Son's Birth Mom

While I was upchucking the little food I had consumed before our flight, I thought about how she was his mom - no other word preceded “mom” yet. She was his mom, and yet I knew he would soon be our son.

May 5

May 5 You Never Get Fully Past The Foster Care Stigmas [Interview with Jasmine Sanders]