Ira's First Birthday Celebration

Sweetest little Ira-

We have shared so many tears in the last year, you and me.

From the beginning of your existence, you invited me to live one day at a time. I learned the art of celebrating each moment I had with you, of finding immense grace in the unknown, in being forced to live moment by moment.

Your existence demanded me to my knees, hands wide open, yearning for miracles. You are a miracle, a rainbow.

I carried you in my womb past the assumed 40 weeks. I expected this.

Your arrival was pain filled and hard, anything but the easy way out. The scar marking me is one of strength, not shame; it also marks sorrow in flesh on flesh beginnings, in those first moments of meeting anything but magical. But boy, am I honored to be yours.

You cried a lot those first few months. Everything made you cry. Being awake made you cry. Even sleeping..you kicked and thrashed and screamed (and honestly still do) while sleeping. So I cried too, feeling a little helpless, wondering how in the world to help you love the life you had been given. Wondering how in the world to ease the discomfort of your existence.

Slowly, and yet surely, you cried less. You smiled more.

Your personality bloomed. It's cute, if I say so myself.

I loved you before I knew of you.

For years, I longed for you.

I ached to experience the absolute miracle of a full term pregnancy, to experience labor and delivery. I craved to feel you move in my womb, make me sick, and drive my hormones bonkers. Even the stretch marks on my midsection, I yearned for those.

Though we've shared more tears than anyone could pretend to count or care about, I have never not loved you. I have never wished you didn't exist. I have always been incredibly thankful for you. I have always counted you as an undeserved gift of His grace.

Though we've shared dark days and hard days and days where there is clearly not enough me for all you and your brother demand...we've shared more sweet memories to last a lifetime. We've shared giggles and tickle fights, cake and ice cream, peek a boos and belly-raspberries.

Ira boy, you make me giddy.

I will never stop thanking Him for you.

I cannot get over you.

I will never stop loving you.

I am thankful to have celebrated your first birthday today. You are worth every celebration in the world.

-Mama.

Ira's party was Dr. Suess themed.

We had so much fun celebrating this little man. I am so thankful for all the dear friends who came to celebrate him with us today!

I'm always blown away by the love of our community. It sure is something to marvel at, you know?