To My Son's Birth Mom on Birth Mother's Day

Dear Mama,

My heart explodes for you.

We absolutely celebrate you on Birth Mother's Day, simply because it's a day created for you.

But we do our best to celebrate + honor you every single day.

Your journey of love humbles me. I hope to always love our little boy with as much strength as you always have.

You mothered my son before I knew of his existence, you chose life for him before I had the choice to, he carries parts of you no one can take away, and he is yours in a way he will never be mine.

So today we celebrate you, but tomorrow we will too.

We custom ordered the sweetest little gift for you and little man to each have one to cherish; we painted cards and wrote letters, printed pictures to send. 

I am sorry that somehow this day, meant to be set apart for you, becomes also about me. It isn't quite fair. It's difficult for me to separate my motherhood from the role of your [birth] motherhood.

My motherhood is intricately tied to your being a birth mother. But I'll do my best to make this more about you than me: you deserve that.

The boy we both love fiercely doesn't quite understand the depths of your love, but my hope is that as he grows I will do a great job telling him about you. My hope is that he will see you, whether on the screen of my phone or in person, and know the immense love you have welled up for him.

I plan to raise him knowing you did not give up, you gave life.

I pray to honor you all the days of our life. 

So here we are, and I'd love to remind you of a few things:

You are strong.

Strength is many things; strength is choosing what is best, even at the expense of our heart. Strength is loving even when it hurts. Strength is choosing life over and over and over again, even when life throws bricks at you. Strength is to keep breathing.

Strength is often hidden in quiet, humble, pain-filled decisions and stories. Strength is often revealed in tears shed, in the courage to choose a broken heart for another's abundant life.

You are beautiful.

Like, your face: it's beautiful. But so is your soul. You are kind and thoughtful. You love little man's humor and you know his love for animals must be genetic. To me, this is beautiful.

You are mama.

Mama is not defined by whether or not you are changing diapers, cleaning up little people's messes, and planning trips to the zoo. Mama is defined by the heart. 

You and I both know you are one fierce loving mama, no less a mom than I.

So today, we honor you. We celebrate you. Tomorrow we will too.

Happy [Birth] Mother's day.