Refuse it!

This has been the work of 2021 for me: refusing to engage emotionally and/or argue with someone who clearly refuses to see, hear, understand me.

Hurt people really do hurt people. Me included, of course.

For me, being hurt by those I love & care about is typically when I’m misunderstood: when a story has been written to create a perception of me that isn’t true.

I very much exist in constant duality, in both/and; in complexities of wanting desperately to be understood while also realizing arguing with someone who refuses to truly see me does no good for either of us.

So to you who also struggle with this: refuse to argue & emotionally engage in conversations where the other person refuses to see you.

It is a waste of both of your energy.

And on the flip side —this one can be just as tricky— try to see & hear the other person without taking on their grief & pain as your own. Or making up a story about them to villainize them. Honestly? Nobody is our enemy, we are not opponents; the enemy is not in flesh & blood.

Being a human is hard a lot of the times 🖤 but we got this.