To The Doctor's Who Tried To Scare Me Into Induction
This is to the 7+ doctors in 4 different Maternal Fetal Med clinics that told me I should induce at 39 wks, “or better yet” just schedule a repeat cesarean:
I pursued a natural TOLAC (trial of labor after cesarean) against all of your recommendations + fear tactics.
My very first trial of labor in 2016 —which was a planned home birth w/ multiple very educated + experienced + qualified midwives present— ended in a cesarean due to Ira being asynclitic for 3 full days of active labor & 4 hours of pushing at 10 cm.
Since the beginning of this pregnancy, you told me my chances of a repeat mal-positioning w/ baby would likely happen & it would be shocking if it didn’t — which isn’t accurate information, it is a fear tactic.
Every app I was met with push back, constantly suggesting I change my mind about induction / scheduling a section.
I was told at 36 wks this baby would be “too big” for my body, he wouldn’t fit thru my canal created to birth, which is an entire notion I have qualms with.
At my 38 wk app, I was told by Dr B she wouldn’t ALLOW me to go past 41 weeks, which in & of itself is an unethical approach to medicine: these bodies aren’t yours.
At my 40 wk app the doctor said it seemed as though I was more concerned about having a vaginal birth than ensuring my baby was ok — there were ZERO signs of distress. What kind of manipulation is that to lay into a mother?
History shows when the body is given room to go into labor without medical induction, it will happen between weeks 38–42 gestation. My instinct was not to be medically induced until 42 weeks, unless of course baby showed signs of distress, but I was sure we’d go into labor before that.
With every new doctor at multiple MFM clinics, I sat & I listened to you tell me why I was making bad decisions for my body + my baby. When I asked why or for you to explain your words to me as they pertain to ME + my baby, I was met with more generalized and false fear-based stats + suggestions to control this process.
Again: baby never in distress. If he was, that would be different.
This body isn’t yours.
I am my sons mother.
I knew all along what we needed to conquer a successful VBAC. And even so, knew a cesarean was still possible in the end: but I knew what I needed for my best chance.
Labor + birth story to come, which will include why they were so adamant to induce me + why I was so adamant not to be induced or schedule a section.
I’m not saying doctors aren’t knowledgeable: I am saying for me and my journey to VBAC, I knew what my body needed when they did not. They see the worst situations at MFM, so of course they want to do everything possible to control birth, which is an uncontrollable process.
I’m also going to say that I feel LUCKY to have had a VBAC, and know so often TOLACS end in more traumatic cesareans and that is something so worth grieving.
Shout out to Doc Merrill who was the one and only MFM doc to really support me and share with me that I was a GREAT candidate for VBAC. I wish I could have seen you every app.
PS. Could not have and did not want to do this birth without my birth mentor, partner, Coach, doula, midwife, friend... Julia at MidValley Birthing Services.
