Talking to our kids about the hard, ugly parts of life

Adoption stories. Family structural shifts (divorce & break ups). Distance between family members. Racism. Sexism. LGBTQIA+. “Boys who are pregnant.” How baby’s are made. Therapy. Sadness & anger.

Honestly whatever topic they bring to me, I don’t just shovel out answers or cliches or half truths.

I sit with it & think through how I can be honest, age-appropriate, & tell the them truth.

Telling our kids the truth about life is treating kids with respect.

Being honest with kids is a sign of love, because truth telling —no matter how tricky or uncomfortable or ugly— is loving. Is respect.

When kids ask why Mommy & Daddy couldn’t stay together, you can tell them the truth without disrespecting the other parent and also without lying & pretending it was Just Because.

When kids ask why their birth mom chose adoption, you can share the truth that both respects & honors her while telling the truth of systemic brokenness + ongoing unfortunate situations + lack of access to mental health + generational struggles.

When kids ask what transgender means, you can break it down and even tho the child is young, you’ve at least started the conversation with honesty instead of shoving it under a rug.

I firmly believe we can tell the truth about people, situations, hard things without perpetuating unnecessary harm thru bias or bitterness.

It’s always been my thing: honesty & truth telling with my kids.

We don’t give our kids enough credit for how wise they are. I think we can all trust our kids a bit more ♥️

PS: emphasis on, we can tell the truth without disrespecting others; it comes down to ensuring we’re doing our own internal work & being very aware of our fines, our word choices, etc.