Some Babies Are Sad

He comes with me everywhere. To photoshoots, work at home, socially distanced drinks with a girlfriend, therapy, errand runs, he even came to my pedi with Brianna.

When Sage + Ira were babies, they also joined me on many adventures & to work. I wore them on my body constantly, yes because I love baby wearing but also because it was the only way they wouldn’t scream. And still they’d cry often.

Kahlil has an entirely different disposition where I can set him on the floor & he’ll chill. He’ll hang in the stroller. I can *even* be within eye/ear shot and he is cool with it. There have been times (like today!) where he’s tired and/or hungry but refusing to fall asleep so he is fussy thru the session...but he isn’t like, screaming his head off.

I really wanna tell the mamas out there with hard / sad babies that it’s not you. You did not create and nurture or “spoil” your babies into extra-needy little monsters 😅 (an actual worry I often have had).

I sincerely believe some babies are born...sad? Especially when there’s trauma involved, but even without.

What I want the mamas to hear + grab ahold of, is it’s not anyone’s fault.

It is not because you’re doing this wrong.

It’s okay, at least in this space, to say it’s hard. It’s okay to acknowledge you are drained from the ongoing crying your baby suffers from.

Acknowledging these things *isn’t* saying you’re ungrateful or you don’t love these precious little people you’re entrusted with.

I’ve been told by a number of people xyz about how I “spoiled” my boys with snuggles & baby wearing & that’s why they’re so “needy” 👀

but it is not because you’ve taught him to need cuddles & he’s spoiled. Wearing them is often survival & what they need.

Just keep going one day at a time, go read thru my PPD post I just did, & know that one day you WILL be on the other side of having constantly-crying babies who only want you & it is, as they say, bittersweet.

Sincerely,
A mom whose first 2 babies came out sad & still kind of are 5 yrs later.