Regulate Yourself

How many times have I failed to regulate a child when I myself am dysregulated? 10/10. We cannot help our children regulate if we are not regulated.

Practicing regulating skills while regulated —together— is an amazing way to teach our kids these skills. Plus it lowers their frequency of becoming dysregulated, if we are frequently actively grounding ourselves.

Create patterns + rhythms into your daily routines to pause & practice grounding techniques.

“But she isn’t responding from TRAUMA, she’s just being a brat/manipulative/rude” etc. Something I hear OFTEN.

Here’s the thing, are you ready?? 😬 it’s still a maladaptive behavior. It’s still a self-protective mechanism. Swipe thru & refresh your brain on how dysregulation can manifest.

Even if she’s “just ignoring / mocking you because she’s a brat” (I cringed too but I hear this often so know it’s a struggle for many)...it’s actually a mode of not being regulated.

So instead of snapping at her or rolling your eyes right back or entering her way of protecting herself...take a deep breath, remind yourself YOU are the adult & project safety. That may mean stepping away or it may mean sitting with said child.

At the end of the day, connection is what heals the brain & broken attachment of children from hard places (and adults 😅).

Save this post to return to.

I’m about to lead a group of nearly 200 adoptive + foster parents thru 2 weeks of connecting. One tip text goal per day.

-Natalie Kristeen