Out upon the waters: my response to yours [adoption]

 

I am coming undone all over again. But this time is different, this time it's not due solely to grief or loss or tragedy. This time it's because of you and the way you reveal and usher Him, God, Jesus, King, Creator, Provider into our lives.

Saturday evening while laying in bed talking about how we were announcing our adoption publicly, I was covered in panic and excitement and nervousness and joy all in one. Should we wait? What if people think we are craz you? What would we wait for? It was time to unfold this reality to the world. We need you.

Sunday morning the blog post was launched and images flew across the internet faster than I knew possible. By Monday morning, over 10,000 views and 350+ shares of our announcement forced me to my knees and revealed the power of a God who loves so well, so deeply, so obviously through His people. Through people. Many people (possibly everyone?) don't even realize how they're being used for Him. In good ways, not bad or manipulative ways.

I am coming undone.

As family and friends and people I've known since I was a babe have given donations, sacrificed, to help us adopt our child, to write and etch their family into our lives forever on pieces of a puzzle...I come undone. Strangers, complete strangers that I have never met and aren't even friends with on Facebook are giving towards this. Are helping us build our family. As I type this, tears are welling pools in my eye lids like a green hose filling a kiddy pool in the summer. I will not and cannot pretend to understand the vastness of God. The power of adoption. And how He has adopted me, you, us. His adopting us did not come without a hefty price. Just as us adopting this child does not come without a price. Sacrifice. Cost.

We received these words, which are only two of the strangers who will forever change our life, and I cried. So hard. Clapped my mouth with my hand type of cried.

The lyrics from a favorite song, Oceans, have been working their way deeply into my heart. They are on Our Puzzle for a reason.

You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown, where feet may fail. There I find you in the mystery, in oceans deep, my faith may fail... Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders. 

Moment after moment I find myself praying. Giving this adoption, myself, the process, our marriage up to Him. I find myself naturally praying without ceasing, an act I have not been able to access for quite some time. Prayers and conversations with Jesus just happening like He is right here, because He is. I realize that the reason I have come to a place where I pray naturally without ceasing is because I have come to a place where feet may fail, where my trust is without borders, where I have no other way to respond but to turn to Him. To turn my eyes and my face to Him because He is the only One to know the outcome of this journey. He is calling us out and we have answered and now we must keep our eyes locked with His in faith that we will not sink.

So thank you. Thank you for upholding us in faith, for sacrificing your own dimes and dollars, for giving us the gift of adoption, for believing in us and encouraging us, for praying for us and loving us.

If you have not yet purchased a piece of the puzzle, there is a link below! We would love to write your name(s) in the first batch of pieces!

Our next major chunk of payment is for our Home Study. This will cost roughly $2,000 and is a big step into the process. Once our home study is finished and finalized, we can begin applying for grants and sending our family profile book to agencies! Will you help us get past that chunk?

How it works:

1) Decide how many puzzle pieces you want to purchase to financially support our adoption fund.

1 puzzle piece = $25 

2) Click on the donate button below

-OR-

Donate via check. Email us at nataliekbrenner@gmail.com and we will send your our address to mail in a check.

3)  Watch the adoption puzzle come together on our blog and see your name be recognized. We will build the puzzle as you donate the pieces.

Lord willing, when we finish this puzzle, we will be just over half way funded. Anyway you support us matters and counts.