How To Talk to Your Kids About Divorce

This photo was a shoot we did to mark being our own little family of 3 unit.

Because we house shared (meaning the kids stayed in the house and mom & dad were the ones to rotate on the weekends), explaining to our 2 year olds wasn’t a big conversation. I mean we DID do a sit down with our five kids at the time (ages 9, 5, 2, 2, &1).

We kept it as undetailed & untraumatic as possible. Our goal, despite both of our bitter & wounded hearts + egos, was to keep the kids mental health at the forefront.

When explaining divorce to your kids keep in mind this is not the time to argue or tell details as to why your marriage is dissolving. This is not the time to let your wounds, emotions, & ego run tho show.

This is the time to be an adult & find a phrase you can repeat over & over again. No matter your child’s age, but especially if they are younger, they will likely ask over and over again why your family is shifting.

The other day one of my 5 year olds asked again “why aren’t you and dad married?”

I responded with the same thing I’ve said for years: “because sometimes it’s best for everyone if mom & dad have different homes. It’s not your fault.”

Remember to give them space to be confused, disappointed, sad, even happy about 2 homes & double the clothes/toys/presents etc.

Bonus note: If your family structure is traditional & not changing but your child asks why another kids parents are getting divorce: YAY!

Please use this time to normalize & explain that some families change over time.

Explain that family is family no matter what, sometimes they change or look different.

Are you from a divorced family?

How did your parents tell you? What could they have done better?

Are you divorced?

How old were your kids when you split?