All in Pregnancy After Loss

Pregnant Out Of Wedlock

Pregnant Out Of Wedlock

Natalie Brenner
Pregnancy After Loss, Mama Bear, Healing

That good ole monthly flow should have started Monday, November 11. I was sure it would, I kept telling myself it would, because why wouldn’t it?

I struggled to conceive when I was adamantly trying — and married, have you — and had lost two in the first trimester. The last one we said goodbye to was after two thriving ultra sounds, a heart beating to prove its life. Then on May 11, 2018 I lost that baby so fast and so painfully, I couldn’t imagine trying to put myself through this again.

DEAR [BIOLOGICAL] RAINBOW BABY, YOU'RE A MIRACLE

DEAR [BIOLOGICAL] RAINBOW BABY, YOU'RE A MIRACLE

Natalie Brenner
Mama Bear, Pregnancy After Loss

I am sorry for the times I fail to celebrate you. Which is too often.

I am sorry for the times it feels I seem to be only celebrating your brother, especially here on this big wide scary space of the internet. The truth? The truth is that I am afraid people assume I love you more than him, because you grew inside of me, my blood runs through you. I fear that people watch us, waiting for proof that we love you more because you are the product of our DNA entangled into one human. I fear that people compare the way we treat you two.

My High Risk Pregnancy: 10 Weeksish Left

My High Risk Pregnancy: 10 Weeksish Left

Natalie Brenner
Infertility & Miscarriage, Pregnancy After Loss

There are up to 10 weeks left before I meet my second born son face to face, flesh on flesh. Could be sooner, but Im planning on being past my due date so that if it passes by like your average day, I am not drowning in depression (which may still happen). Today marks 32 weeks with this undeserved miracle boy. Our official date we are due to deliver is May 25, but I usually follow that with, "But we're planning for June 10th." The term "due date" used to bring me emotions of fear and grief.