5 Questions for YOU - Adoptive Parents
5 questions for hopeful / prospective / “IN THE WAIT” adoptive parents.
If you’re open to adopting, actively home study ready, and/or preparing to become licensed to adopt, here are 5 not-so-brief questions I hope you’ll dive into.
Grab a cup of coffee or a jar of wine, sit down & stay awhile. We have so much to cover & will never arrive. But these are for sure 5 topics you should dive into while you’re pursuing an adoption of any kind.
1. The adoption industry, whichever route you pursue, is littered with coercion, injustice, and constant failure of systems. If you’re adopting an infant domestically with private / agency @bigtoughgirl has an entire list of questions to go thru to work towards ethically adopting.
2. Adoptive parent saviorism is loud and proud and it needs to be sat down. Especially white saviorism. Adoption (& foster care) is RIDDLED with saviorism. There’s a huge equity-imbalance in the triad & this is something you, as a prospective AP, need to dig into.
3. If infertility is part of what led you here: DO YOUR GRIEF WORK. You have to. It’s unfair to you and ♾ times unfair to your child if you don’t.
4. If you “don’t care what race your baby is” I beg you to care about race and see color and take a hard look internally. There are a plethora of transracially adopted adults who are sharing & speaking & helping us do better.
5. Not sure why we don’t talk more about infant adoption including trauma, but ALL ADOPTIONS INCLUDE TRAUMA. Down into the neurological system of our kids; their bodies hold it. So have you reconsidered or even just looked at the pros + cons of sleep training? (I’m not shaming nobody or judging nobody, it’s a Weigh The Options for every family). Have you heard of connected parenting? TBRI?
XO
Natalie
