OH WEDDINGS! I love them.
I have played a few parts in weddings:
- Attendee
- Bridesmaid
- Wedding Coordinator
- Bride
Each role has taught me something new.
As an attendee, I show up and bask and revel in the glorious beauty that sits before me. I don't think twice {or even once} about the few people who poured countless hours into creating this beautiful time. You arrive, you soak in the magic aura of wonder, you drop a gift or card of cash into the allotted area, and you enjoy the show. You celebrate, you dance, you have some good eats. You are much needed because they need you there to witness and hold them accountable. To encourage them and reveal your support. To help them furnish their new home!
As a Bridesmaid, it is our job and duty to serve the Bride - help with projects and preparation. It is also our job to completely love and serve the Bride. To do whatever it takes to ensure a smooth wedding day. {Side note from my soap box: brides, you are not entitled to service and slaves. To expect and demand such really removes all the joy in serving and helping...see the love and sacrifice your girls are giving you, and thank them}.
As a Wedding Coordinator...your mind fills up full until it overflows into crazy eyes. I have done some difficult things in my life. Working 40-60 hours night shift + full time school resides in the top 5 most difficult...and I think Wedding Coordinating may be up there in the top 5. My eyes rolled into the back of my head afterwards. It was one of the most exciting, thrilling, rewarding, and mind-filling things I have ever done. It was a gift disguised in stress; but I learned so much and I was so deeply honored to play such a part of the couple's day. You are to know the bride & groom's brains: their dislikes and their likes, their non-negotiables. You are to answer questions, make decisions, keep the schedule, and ensure that the bride and groom have the best day of their life [so far]. It is quite the honor.
As the Bride... this is unexplainable. It is glorious and enriching, exciting and frightening. All of the years of dreaming of your wedding day landing into the same day {your wedding day} and happening is downright indescribable. Wedding week was possibly one of the best weeks of my life. We had all of our closest friends in town, surrounding us. We had an evening of worship, we went to a local concert, we sipped coffee, we ate a lot of meals together. In my memory, it was smooth sailing and great.
|| Let's talk about ways we can serve and love the Bride & Groom during wedding week and wedding day ||
>Once you've arrived for the official wedding week, make it clear to yourself and your Bride that you are there for her. You are there to serve and help her.
>Check in with your Bride/Groom consistently. Not too much, but an honest check in to be sure they are doing well.
>Surprise the Bride with a massage. Pay for and take her to a 1/2 hour to 1 hour massage up to 3 days before the wedding.
>Pay for the Bride's toes & nails. Bridesmaids can join their $ together and pay for her to have perfect toes and finger nails.
>Ask the groom and his mother if they would like a moment together before ceremony; ask the bride and her father if they would like a moment together before the ceremony. If yes, provide a safe and intimate moment for them to exchange letters, pray for one another, shed a tear of joy and disbelief that you are old enough to be wed!
>Take the Bride & Groom's phones from them. This is because people constantly ask questions and are bombarding them with text messages. Even encouraging messages are brain consuming and overwhelming. It is loving to take their phone the full day before the wedding and keep it until they leave. They don't need to answer questions - that is what the bridesmaids and wedding coordinator is for. Her brain will literally melt straight through her eyes if we keep asking her questions as the Big Day approaches.
>Maids of Honor and Best Men: you are in this position for a reason. Hold your Bride and Groom accountable purity-wise, loving them, aggressively if need be, until the night of their wedding!
>The night before the wedding, bridesmaids gather and each pray over the bride and her marriage. Same for the groomsmen and groom. If you're into that sort of thing! You can also each share a piece of encouragement and call out the good in them that you see. I recently asked a Bride what blessed her groom and she said, "the fellowship time he and his men had the night before was helpful and encouraging to him."
>Know what the Bride & Groom wants the wedding to feel like; this way when you are asked questions, you can answer confidently. Not having to ask the bride on wedding day or wedding day eve. Leading up to the Big Day, ask questions: What do you want noticed? The atmosphere? Non-negotiables? What will ruin your wedding if you do or don't have?
>If things go wrong, they Bride doesn't need to know about you. As a team who knows her, you can fix it. I assure you that by wedding week, her brain is mush. I cannot emphasize that enough.
>As the Bride is dreaming of the Big Day in the previous months leading up to it, help keep her sane and not buy a ton of things she doesn't need. If she makes a list of non-negotiables, keep to that list. Ask, "is that on your list or is it just one of those things on Pinterest that everyone says you must have?"
>Take the Bride on a shopping day earlier in the wedding week when her brain is still functioning at a somewhat normal level. This will be fun! Make sure all of the little wedding day and honeymoon essentials are purchased. Simple things like earrings, bobby pins, sewing kit, travel tooth paste, hair spray, make up, etc.
>For whoever is doing the rehearsal: Have a game plan. Walk over the rehearsal by yourself two times. Next, meet with the Bride & Groom about an hour before the rehearsal actually begins. Walk them through what you have and let them know that they have the authority to change any of it. Their brains are melted by this point, so it is loving to take charge. Once it is hashed out exactly how they want it, you are ready to bring in the Bridesmaids and Groomsmen. You can do this so quickly. Start off by explaining you already have everything hashed out, the decisions have been made, and now you will simply walk through it.
Place each person where they will be standing during the ceremony. Then have them exit. Then start from the beginning, walking up the aisle, they know where to stand, and then they walk back out. Done. Practice twice and you are good to go!
>If it rains {and its an outside wedding} have a plan. Don't make or ask the Bride to have a plan. You make one, and pitch it to her in a controlled voice, and she will find comfort in your stability.
>Make one last date for the Bride and Groom. Possibly a breakfast or afternoon.
>Help organize their new living quarters week of, so when they return home, it is all ready!
>Coffee. Always coffee. It is so fun to have them write on the cups too!
>Cooking the meals to relieve any pressure
>Be sure the honeymoon bags are already packed in the getaway car before the ceremony begins. Send off can be smooth and easy.
All around, your heart is to serve and love and spoil them. Knowing what each individual loves, "pull out all the tricks," as Haley says. Wedding week can be such a blast of serving two beautiful individuals who are coming together as one by the end of the week. Your sacrifice will be such a gift to them.
What other ways can we help serve the bride and groom?
I had the honor capturing just a few photos from the wedding day. I hope you'll stick around to check them out!