Adding Baby to Two Four Year Olds
We got back to our coparenting schedule this week and let’s just say our mornings have been wonderful! We start slow, with a cup of coffee, some cereal and chocolate milk, snuggles, worship music.
HOWEVER. Somewhere too soon throughout the day, Sage & Ira start reminding me this transition is hard on them (to put it nicely). Lots more hitting and screaming and melting down and not listening and choosing mean words and laughing at my face when I say their words & unsafe bodies are hurtful.
By bed time I have already yelled at & apologized to them waaaay more than I would have liked to. The last three nights bed time have been hard on all of us.
Last night I ended up sobbing into their sheets while rubbing both their backs, praying to Jesus for help, asking Him to meet them in all the spaces I can’t. In all the ways I have failed and will fail. It feels like a lot right now.
Mix together really rough bedtimes after breastfeeding all day and arguing with 4 year olds and postpartum hormones ... I am just crying a lot at night while wading through different layers of grief.
I’m not swallowed up whole, though!
This baby is such a gift.
He’s so beautiful and peaceful. I’m grateful for his sweet soul. And he barely cries so far! This baby-experience has been opposite of the other 5 babies I have had the privilege of mothering, where the babies all seemed to cry constantly 😂 like...Kahlil just chills.
It is clear Ira is ALL ABOUT being big bro...he’s a little daddy. Sage would much rather be the little brother to all the bigs & ditch the baby.
Will you tell me about your kids transitioning with new babies!?
Some things I have been doing are:
including them in as much as possible… “Sage will you grab wipes, Ira will you grab a diaper?”
letting them know this is THEIR baby too
talking about when THEY were babies, and how they were so adorable like this! How much time we spent skin to skin and kissing and all the things
my friend sent them books about welcoming baby
my friend also sent them Big Brother Super Hero capes. masks, and water bottles
I got them special gifts! Water bottles, shirts, new play dough toys, new lego animals, new sticker books…just trying to remind them that they also get fun things (since the baby has gotten so many new gifts)
I work on getting one-to-one time with them
