Remember before we were married, we lived separately, and you never saw my crusty morning face topped with a birds nest of hair on the top of my head? Remember when you saw me mainly dressed cute and fun, hair at least combed, and my teeth were sparkly clean all. the. time.? The worst you saw me was when I was wearing someone else's feces on my scrub top - true story - but even at that, I felt dazzling because my face was still awake. No crusty sleep face.
You would pick me up for dates, me all dressed up in heels, hair done right with a few touches of extra make up. You didn't watch me get ready in my running shorts and too-big-of-tank-top, applying the foundation first, next the shadow, and oh I look like a ghost really. You never walked into the restroom to see me with eyeliner half on and apparently no eyelashes to count. In our short 11 months of dating and engagement, simply, you picked me up for dates and it was as if I was always groomed ever so nicely.
And now. Now we are married and you see me in way too many sweat pants, big t shirts, and a birds nest show cased on my head. Many times you've come to kiss my lips while one eye has eye liner and the other empty. And you still say I'm beautiful.
My dear man, I went on a date with you the other day. I got all dressed up for you again, wearing heels and put time into my hair. You put palmade in your hair and wore a button up shirt. I looked my best so you could sport me as your charm, fingers laced together, proudly we went on a date. A date where the phones were put away, red wine was served, and we paused the craziness of the day. A date in which we stared at one another, remembering the deep gratitude that is welled up within us. We are each other's. He is no other's, but mine. And I am his.
We dreamed about Our Future: talked of the many possibilities and countless unknowns it holds so tightly in it's palm. Our Future, not revealing so many unanswered questions, is a mystery to us. Which is part of the fun in dreaming. We shared what Jesus was teaching us today and yesterday, the various ways He is so mysteriously fabricating our hearts together, and how He is so, so good. We shared decaf coffee with our desserts so different- mine gluten free, yours gluten laced. We left a good tip because money is money and the waitress was so patient as we sat there slowly enjoying our 3 courses over 2 hours.
I don't have any words of wisdom or great and exciting revelations. Simply:
Sometimes you just need to date your spouse.
You need to go to where the pretty pumpkins line the side walk and lanterns hang from the ceiling and candles are lit on your table while the waitress brings you lamb and fresh veggies from the garden out back. Sometimes you need to stop and let the world pause exactly at the moment it feels it may crumble. Relax when you feel you can't and know that everything is going to be O.KAY.
If you enjoyed this, try 10 Prayers For Your Spouse.